An extraordinary thing has happened...
Thanks to the courage of severely depressed Americans, neither chance nor intention... neither the gods nor "towel head" terrorists... pose a bigger threat to them than they pose to themselves.
We're surprised it isn't higher. We've seen the way Americans live. If we had to live in their houses... with their flat-screen televisions, dumpy wives and moron children... we would have blown our brains out long ago.
Suicide rates among middle-aged Americans have risen sharply in the past decade, prompting concern that a generation of baby boomers who have faced years of economic worry and easy access to prescription painkillers may be particularly vulnerable to self-inflicted harm.
More people now die of suicide than in car accidents, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which published the findings in Friday's issue of its Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. In 2010, there were 33,687 deaths from motor vehicle crashes and 38,364 suicides.
Suicide has typically been viewed as a problem of teenagers and the elderly, and the surge in suicide rates among middle-aged Americans is surprising.
From 1999-2010, the suicide rate among Americans ages 35-64 rose by nearly 30%, to 17.6 deaths per 100,000 people, up from 13.7. Although suicide rates are growing among both middle-aged men and women, far more men take their own lives. The suicide rate for middle-aged men was 27.3 deaths per 100,000, while for women it was 8.1 deaths per 100,000.
By comparison, suicide prevention – as near as we could make out – is barely a footnote in the federal budget: only about $56 million per year. This despite the fact that the risk to the typical reader posed by himself is about 1,000 times greater than the risk from "terrorists."
You'd think we might slack off a little on health care spending too. Americans take all manner of potions and remedies, trying to keep the wreck on the road, at a cost of about $2.7 trillion last year. But what's the point in changing the oil in a car you're going to drive off a cliff?
But look on the bright side. Despite conditions in the US that make death seem attractive by comparison, about 300 million have hung on.
That is the shocking and amazing thing. Despite Homeland Security, drones, Facebook, rap, neo-cons, Barack Obama, tort lawyers, the IRS, Lindsay Lohan, Paul Krugman and Thomas L. Friedman – most Americans still have a will to live.
Yes, we are all bound for heaven or for hell. But most of us will pay any price and endure any indignity to avoid going there before we have to.
Others can't wait...
President Obama's Most Disastrous Decision Yet...
In the next 12 months, the president could make the worst decision of his life.
It could cripple our nation's economy and destroy an industry critical to national security...
Putting more than 1 million Americans out of work and potentially starting a new Civil War.
But this decision could also give you a once-in-a-lifetime chance for profit, if you act quickly.